


Holy Hawkmoth, Adrien Agreste Is Extremely Clueless

by Chicken_WithaSaber



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Gabriel and Natalie keep getting interrupted by Adrien, Gabriel is worried about his son's lack of common sense, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I should get some sleep, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Poor Marinette keeps getting friendzoned, This is basically about Adrien being completely clueless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:20:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27001105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chicken_WithaSaber/pseuds/Chicken_WithaSaber
Summary: Gabriel Agreste reflects on how clueless his son is and simultaneously plans his upcoming wedding to Natalie.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur
Comments: 52
Kudos: 103





	1. Adrien Is Utterly Clueless

_\--I Obviously don't own Miraculous or any of the brands mentioned here--_

Truly, Gabriel Agreste pondered to himself, it was surprising how … thick-skulled and… clueless that his son could be. Adrien may be Paris’ most prized model, fluent in Chinese, and a seasoned athlete, but somehow his clueless child had failed to notice his father’s relationship with Natalie. Really, it was for the better, Gabriel supposed. It would be rather hard to explain to his son that Natalie had suddenly moved from “Secretary” to “Step-mom”, even though Emilie was still in the basement. (Not that Adrien knew what had happened to his mother, but still)

Of course, since Natalie had become Mayura, she and Gabriel had started to become closer and had even formed a relationship. Obviously nobody except their Kwamis could know that. Anywho, Adrien’s cluelessness was a cause for alarm. Perhaps forcing his son to be homeschooled had not been the _best_ decision for Adrien’s cognitive development. Why, just last week Miss Dupain-Cheng had come over for dinner, and the whole time, his idiotic son referred to her as “My amazing, awesome kindest, most best friend in the Universe!”. And the whole time, poor Marinette seemed to be trying, and failing, to hide a hopeless expression from slipping across her face. Later that evening, Gabriel almost sat his son down for a chat on relationships and feelings but had sensed the feeling of utter hopelessness from some poor Parisian and promptly left to Akumatize his victim. When he returned, Adrien was not in bed, and the windows were open. Just before Gabriel could yell for the Gorilla, however, Adrien appeared, sweaty and disheveled, from the bathroom. That had been quite odd.

Now, back to his son’s apparent lack of common sense. Last week, Gabriel had bent down on one knee to propose to the (second) love of his life. Before Natalie could accept, however, Adrien strolled by. Gabriel was about to make an excuse for the situation, but Adrien cheerfully said, “Father, you didn’t have to do that! I already tested the new line of fashion pants; stain remover gets off any trace of dirt!” and strolled away, humming an annoying tune about ladybugs and cats.

The day after that proposal pandemonium, Gabriel had started to sketch wedding gowns onto photos of Natalie, (she said yes!) in hopes of finding the perfect dress for her. His son had walked into the room to blather on about something, probably Marinette, but stopped in his tracks as he glimpsed Gabriel’s sketchpad. Before Gabriel could react and throw his artwork into the fire, however, his son chimed in, “I also think Natalie would be a good model. You should hire her for the spring catalogue! She’s worked here for so long, she knows all the tricks!” Gabriel had mustered up enough strength to pat his son on the back. Then, as soon as Adrien left, probably to "hang out" with Marinette, he started Googling the best cognitive psychologists in the area. He had the feeling that his son would need years of counseling…..

For Gucci's sake! Natalie had moved in a year ago, and was clearly a part of the family. She traveled with them, spent the holidays at the Agreste mansion, and she and Gabriel even did cheesy things like sunset walks on the beach and romantic dinners. Yes, Gabriel mused. A cognitive psychologist would be the best option for Adrien’s health. While they were at it, he would see if the Psychologist could get rid of his son’s horrid obsession with Ladybug. Now that would be just perfect.

In the meantime, he'd figure out the perfect honeymoon destination. Both he and Natalie had always wanted to visit to Hawaii....


	2. Planning A Wedding And Dealing With A Dull-Minded Son Is No Easy Feat!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Gabriel takes his son to multiple psychologists in hopes of teaching his son the difference between friendship and romantic relationships. Unfortunately, Adrien's progress is horrifyingly slow. Also, Gabriel and Natalie continue planning their upcoming wedding, which leads them to ask one question: Where will Adrien stay during their honeymoon?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the positive feedback, it really made my day!

_\----I obviously don't own Miraculous Ladybug and any of the brands mentioned here----_

A few months had passed since Gabriel and Natalie’s engagement, and Adrien had been attending a cognitive psychologist for a few weeks. A few minutes into the initial consultation, the psychologist had mentioned to Gabriel that his son was actually quite bright, but apparently showed signs of PTSD and seemed to be keeping some troubling secrets. Gabriel did pause for a minute, but quickly brushed it off. One day, he and Natalie would find a way to get Emilie back. (And yes, he was still planning to marry Natalie…) Once Emilie returned, Adrien would no doubt shake off any trauma or issues. Apparently, the doctor also believed that it was not mentally healthy for young teens to be supermodels. Bla bla bla, something about body image, diets and food guilt, bla bla bla. The nerve of that man to insult the Agreste brand!

Gabriel immediately decided his son needed better medical care and found a different psychologist in a nearby city. After thoroughly evaluating Adrien, this doctor (thank goodness) agreed with Gabriel that his son could use a few therapy sessions to “stimulate his mental growth”. As the weeks went by, Adrien slowly began to respond positively to treatment. In fact, one day Adrien had approached his father and said, “Father, I can see that you and Natalie are becoming close.” Before Gabriel could make excuses, (Getting married while your dead wife is in the basement is really not a good example to set…) Adrien continued, “I saw the two of you hold hands and go for a sunset walk by the Seine the other day! I’m glad you have a new best friend, Father!” Gabriel bared his teeth in a sorry attempt to smile, and promptly called the psychologist’s office to schedule an extra appointment that week. Clearly, his daft son was not responding to treatment as quickly as the psychologists had hoped.

At the same time as Adrien’s… _issues_ were going on, Gabriel was busy planning his and Natalie’s wedding. It was going to be a simple thing, really; only _half_ of Paris was going to be invited. The other half… well, they would be missing out on the wedding of the year. Too bad for them. (Chloe Bourgeois would be one of those missing out as well…)

He and Natalie had decided to hire the Dupain-Cheng family to cater for the event. They both hoped that if Adrien caught a glimpse of Marinette at such an event where love would be swirling in the air, and matrimonial bliss would no doubt be exuded from every couple in the room, his naïve child would suddenly have a _miraculous_ understanding and recognize the difference between friendship and a relationship.

(If the reader believes Gabriel to be exaggerating in his worry about Adrien, let me inform you that Adrien’s diary blathered on and on about how he wanted to live happily ever after with his dear friend Marinette, how Marinette was (one of the two) most beautiful girls he knew, and how one day, he wanted to co-parent a hamster named Nightmare with his beloved friend. I’m just going to say it, Adrien Agreste is clueless. Also, who in Chanel’s name calls a hamster _Nightmare_?!)

Continuing on, as Gabriel and Natalie’s big day approached, the couple was scrambling to finish and perfect their wedding plans. Natalie had decided on her dress (A Gabriel Agreste original, obvs), and Gabriel had found a tuxedo in one of his many closets. They had decided their vows, the venue, the theme, the dinner menu, and where they would honeymoon (The most luxurious hotel in Hawaii, if you were wondering). Everything was going to be perfect!

The only issue was, where would Adrien stay? The Gorilla was out of town due to family issues, and Gabriel’s only son would not stay with the Bourgeois family, thank you very much! Natalie had suggested that Adrien could stay with his friends, and Gabe reluctantly agreed. Normally, he would not prefer his son to bunk with such _ruffians_ , but this was only his second honeymoon, and _by Prada_ , he intended to enjoy it! Plus, _anything_ was better than the Bourgeois hotel. And so, he sent Natalie off to ask Adrien's friends about housing accommodations.

In the meantime, he would spend his last week as a (sort of) unmarried man preparing for his wedding and Akumatizing any distressed Parisian. You know, the usual things a forty-somethings man does in his spare time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is finally the wedding! Adrien's cluelessness will continue on as usual lol.  
> By chapter 4 he'll gain some common sense I promise XD


	3. Taking Your Son On Your Honeymoon Is No Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Gabriel and Natalie finally get married. Unfortunately, Adrien has no other place to stay, and consequently third-wheels during their honeymoon, while talking nonstop about his 'dear friend' Marinette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Kudos and comments! They encourage me to write more!

_\---I Obviously don't own Miraculous or any brands mentioned here---_

On the day of his father’s Friendship Pledging Ceremony (aka wedding), Adrien Agreste arose extremely early. Why wouldn’t he? It was a glorious day! Finally, his father and Natalie would stand at the altar, and pledge their undying **friendship** for each other. Was there anything more beautiful than two people caring for each other and promising to take each other as **friends** , for better or worse, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health until death? It almost brought tears into his eyes, it sounded so beautiful to him.

He couldn’t wait. A tiny (ok, huge) part of him was also excited to see his _dear_ friend, Marinette. She was such an awesome girl; anytime they were in the same room, his heart raced, and he always felt so lucky to have made her acquaintance. Lately, he’d started to have butterflies (and a few moths) in his tummy whenever she talked to him! What was that about?! He’d only ever had those feelings near Ladybug…but whenever he tried to talk to Plagg about his funny feelings, that good-for-nothing Kwami just laughed at him. Anyways, it was now time for the Agreste family to head to the venue! Adrien stuffed Plagg into his breast pocket along with some cheese and raced towards the car.

Later at the wedding dinner, Adrien’s gaze was torn away from his father (who was smiling! Who knew that Gabriel Agreste could _smile_?!) and new stem-mom as he heard a loud crash followed by a high-pitched squeal. As he looked to the site of the noise, he saw Marinette, who was quickly picking up shards of glass from the ground. He smiled and went over to assist, as he usually did. “Hi Marinette, how are you? Be careful, you don’t want to get cut!” As their hands touched and their gazes met, Adrien could swear that face turned fire-engine red, and steam sizzled out of her ears. How was that humanly possible?!

As she cleaned her mess, Marinette was able to squeak out, “Hi Tuxedo! Your Adrien looks so good today!”, and then, realizing what she had said, she quickly blurted, “Hi Adrien! Con-congratulations on your dad’s wedding!” Adrien grinned; his beloved friend was always so considerate. “Thanks! Here, let me help you clean this mess.” As he picked up the last few shards of glass, Adrien could have sworn that he heard a voice sigh, “Such a _gentleman_!”, but when he looked back at the direction of the voice, Marinette smiled nervously at him.

\--------------- **Gabriel’s POV-** \--------------

As the wedding came to an end, Gabriel and Natalie greeted their last few guests and prepared to leave the venue for the airport. Finally, he and Natalie would be leaving Paris for Hawaii! After the hectic spring fashion season, all Gabriel wanted to do was lie down on a beach and sunbathe. (Well, sit up straight in a sturdy chair beneath an umbrella. Agrestes didn’t do things like lean back, they valued their posture. At least Gabriel did.)

There was only one issue; Adrien would be coming along with them and would probably ruin any relaxing or romantic moments with his brainless behavior. Natalie had gone to all of Adrien’s friends to ask if Adrien could stay with their families, but everybody in Adrien’s little social circle had been quite busy that week. As a last resort, Natalie had asked the Dupain-Cheng family if they had a spare room for rent, but apparently Miss Dupain-Cheng had turned purple and stammered out something about pet ladybugs that might disrupt Adrien’s beauty sleep by stealing cookies, or something like that; Gabriel wasn’t quite sure. Anyways, like it or not, his clueless child was coming to Hawaii with them.

However, as the Agreste family boarded the (private) plane and Adrien continuously chatted on about how he was excited for his first vacation, Gabriel started to feel glad that his son was coming along. Maybe they would all enjoy some “family bonding”, or whatever regular civilians did on vacation. It might be nice after all…

\---------- **A Few Hours Later...** \----------

 _He was wrong_. Within the first two days of the family arriving in Hawaii, Adrien had interrupted the newlyweds twenty-five times. ( _Yes_ , Gabriel was counting. After all, this was _his_ honeymoon!) In fact, on the evening they arrived, Gabriel asked Natalie if she would accompany him for a sunset dinner on the beach. Natalie had gazed happily into his eyes, but before she could respond, Adrien cheerfully invited himself along. “Father, I’ll be ready in five minutes! Are we going for high fashion today? You’re all dressed up!” And the younger Agreste had cheerfully ran to his hotel room to pull out his finest dinner outfit.

That had only been the tip of the iceberg. (Or should I say volcano? They were in Hawaii, after all.) As the Agrestes spent the week hiking around the Islands, swimming in the ocean, and marveling at the scenic nature, Adrien kept making his presence painfully noticeable. Often as Natalie and Gabriel would find themselves in a romantic moment, Adrien would ask some buzzkilling question, such as, “Do we have internet? I have to tell Marinette about what new species of bird we just saw!”, “Natalie, why are you snuggling with your boss?”, and the frequent, “Why are you kissing? Friends don’t _do_ that, Father! What’s _wrong_ with the two of you?!”

Fortunately, four days into their trip, they got news that the Gorilla had resolved his family issues and was back in Paris. A (private, Agrestes only travel in style of course) plane ticket was immediately bought, and Adrien was sent home as soon as possible. (Gabriel had felt ever-so-slightly remorseful at the thought of sending his son back, until Adrien started nattering on about how much he missed his dear friend Marinette. By then, Gabriel was more than ready to bid his son adieu.)

And with Adrien gone, Gabriel and Natalie happily enjoyed the rest of their honeymoon together. During the next few weeks, they reveled in each other’s company, tasted local cuisine, and recovered from the hard work of terrorizing an entire city. They deserved it! After all, Akumatizing people had been taking a huge toll on their bodies……

Back in Paris, Adrien was alone (with the Gorilla, of course) in the colossal Agreste mansion. And you know what they say: When Hawkmoth is away, Chat Noir will play...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! Adrien's in for an emotional roller coaster, that's all I have to say XD


	4. Surprising Revelations  And Relaxing Vacations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, thanks to Plagg's big mouth and some serious thinking, Adrien has the realization of his life.  
> Later, Gabriel and Natalie return from vacation to surprising news!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody who read this little story of mine! I posted this without expecting anyone to actually like it, and your lovely comments blew me away!

Most teenagers would have been mad to be sent back home early from Hawaii, but Adrien really missed his lovely friend Marinette and was quite happy to return to Paris. Plus, with his father gone on his Friendship Celebration trip (I know, right? He’s so clueless!), nobody was there to set strict rules or force him to participate in fifteen photoshoots a day. (Adrien was pretty sure his dad was ignoring child labor laws, but what can you do when your father is Gabriel Agreste?)The Gorilla had long since figured out that Adrien was Chat Noir, and so allowed Adrien to do his own thing; he knew Adrien was physically capable. (But not so mentally capable in _certain_ _areas_ …)

And Adrien spent his free time coming up with new puns to win Ladybug’s love, stuffing his mouth with as much croissants as possible, and daydreaming about his darling friend Marinette. Speaking of Marinette, he often spent the afternoons at her house playing video games. It was great, and he really enjoyed spending time with her, but he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was being watched. However, when he would look around furtively, a door would slam shut, and Marinette’s mom would yell, “ _Tom_ , be stealthier! TIPTOE, DON’T _STOMP_!”, or “ _TOM_! Did you hit record? I _told_ you, we’ll play this at their wedding!”. It was honestly quite odd.

The whole time, Marinette also seemed to be a bit sad about something; he couldn’t tell what. When he gently tried to pry, however, she finally told him that someone she liked only saw her as a friend. That made Adrien furious; who could look at his beautiful, awesome, kind, funny, perfect friend and see her as _just a friend_?! Anybody would be lucky to be in a relationship with Marinette! _Wait a minute_ …

Adrien hurriedly excused himself to the bathroom, locked the door, and sat down with his head in his hands as hundreds of thoughts raced through his mind. Suddenly, he realized why he had butterflies (or moths, whatever you prefer) in his tummy; he had been so blind! Without warning, the gates of intelligence had been kicked open! For the first time in his life Adrien Agreste was flooded with common sense and understanding of how the world worked. “Plagg, Marinette… is not just a friend!”, he whispered shakily. Meanwhile, the Kwami was rolling around the bathroom, laughing uncontrollably. “Oh sweet Brie Cheese, it’s about time you realized… BAHAAAHAA, this is too good… Holey Swiss, Kid, you can be so dense, BAAHAAAHAAAA!”

Adrien glared at his Kwami, “Plagg, why is this so funny?! I’m having, like, a quarter life crisis right now and I need some support!” Plagg stopped his giggles and soothingly said, “It’s obvious, kid. You just happen to have the intelligence of a boiled potato, but everyone around you knows that you have a huge crush on her!” Adrien splashed water on his face in a feeble attempt to stop the world from spinning. “What do you mean, Plagg?” His rascal of a Kwami shrugged. “Don’t feel bad, Kid. It was to be expected. I mean, you’re Chat Noir, she’s Ladybug, it was bound to happen-OH SWEET CAMEMBERT-Uhhhh, NOTHINGGG, OOHHH, Tikki’s gonna kill meeee!” he squealed. “Adrien, say something! Don’t faint!” Adrien slowly wiped his face dry, gripped onto the sink for support, and shakily stood up to look his Kwami in the eye. “Plagg, is Marinette Ladybug?!” he whispered. Plagg’s silence confirmed all that he needed to know.

Just then, Marinette knocked on the door. “Adrien, are you ok? Not that you’re not ok, because you’re _fine_ \- I mean, uh, EEEK TIKKI WHY ARE YOU GOING IN THERE?!” The unmistakable sound of Plagg being scolded by Tikki made her gasp. “Wait, if Plagg’s in there, then… Adrien must be… CHAT NOIR?!” And Adrien heard a loud *THUD* as Marinette, no, Maribug, no, _Ladybug_ (!!!) keeled over onto the ground.

\--------------- **Gabriel’s POV** \---------------

Hawaii had been the perfect vacation for two busy villains. Gabriel and Natalie were in good spirits and feeling refreshed, utterly refreshed. As the two settled back into the Agreste mansion, their lives seemed to be taking a turn for the better; after all, they were married, well rested, and ready to terrorize Paris with gusto! Further adding to Gabriel’s good mood was for once, his son. Apparently, something had happened between Adrien and Miss Dupain-Cheng while he was away. His once clueless child had become a man and realized his true feelings for Marinette! (Gabriel could only have been prouder of his son if Adrien had taken down Chat Noir!)

When Gabriel and Natalie had asked Adrien about what had happened, Adrien had nervously muttered something about seeing Marinette in a new, “red and spotted” way. It didn’t make sense to Gabriel, who was not one to understand teenage slang, but he couldn’t care less. Forget cognitive psychologists! Apparently, leaving his son and going away on vacation had been all it took for Adrien to find his lost marbles and gain some common sense! Gabriel had already booked his next three trips, this time to Bali, Tobago, and Bora Bora. By the third trip, he hoped to come home to news of an engagement. He had also enrolled in a fashion course on designing baby clothes, _just in case_ they were needed a few years down the line. One could never be _too_ prepared.

And if this meant Gabriel had an excuse to go away on vacation more often, well, _all the better_. He had really started to enjoy sunbathing with the radio to his right, Natalie to his left, and a fruity drink in his hands…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Adrien has done some serious mental cartwheels and the lovesquare is finally together! Woooo!  
> This was so much fun to write, and I'm planning another story. Don't know how long it'll be though.


End file.
